Finding Will

Christmas

2011-12-23T08:45:00.001-08:00

I have alway clung to a nieve belief that there is beauty everywhere. I know that is easy for a person who has experienced,in comparison to much of the world, very little suffering. With each new trial I face, I test my belief. I close my eyes and wince hoping that it is still true, that I will find beauty in the left over pieces of what once was. Standing in a hospital room, the ventilator keeping time, staring at the face of my brother I sang and prayed it was still true. And it was. God is still beautiful in death. In the memory of someone who I desperately miss. There is beauty in the life he lived. There is beauty in his redemption story. Perhaps it sounds a bit disrespectful. It sounds uncaring, but it is my beliefe and what I have found to be true. True, because God is everywhere, his breath is our DNA, He is Good, and He is LOVE. No darkness is too black to drown out light. No evil too sickening to destroy the song. This Christmas I reflect on the beauty that is in all of my stories.

In the stories of my children before and after they were mine. When I think of our journey for Will in someways it was over in July when he legally became our son. What isn't over is remolding of our hearts. This beautiful transformation that hurt and stretched and overwhelmed with joy An openness to allow God to build our family in whatever way he wants to. A new understanding of God's mercy and grace that was accompanied with a new realization that His ways are higher than ours. There are still so many questions about pain and suffering that are a part of Will's story I don't understand, but I do know that God is Love. Love is who He is. Love is who I want to be.

Will's laugh is still contagious and he can make his sister laugh so hard she can't breath. There is beauty in their laughter and tears, sweet words and dirty clothes. There is beauty in moments I'm angry and frustrated if I can just shake off what is ugly and look to see glaring truth of beauty.

This Christmas I am thankful for our journey...every part of it. I am thankful for the man who walked with me and I am thankful for the gifts God gave us. I am So very grateful for what God is doing for Will's friends in Haiti.

The orphanage Will lived in is raising funds for the construction of an orphan village. www.okipe.org That to me is beauty. Suffering and rejection. Pain and loss forced upon the most innocent. Given to children. Yet, hope and redemption. The love of a Father. The love of strangers. It is a glimpse of beauty that is too strong and too consistant to be crushed by the poverty of body and soul. This Christmas I am looking for beauty and find it shining the brightest in a little boy in a manger who gave me the little boy and girl who sleep safely in their beds.

2010-02-22T20:23:00.000-08:00

Every day holds something new for the Petersen home. Often we are marking some sort of first for Will. This weekend it was the first ever trip to Chuck E Cheese's...frightening in every way. I feel more and more that I am way out of my league. I often have this brief realization that my reality is nothing short of shocking to me. This February marks 2 years since I met Will. The picture of me giving Will a drink of water was taken then and this week he noticed it on the wall in the hall way. "Its me he said" with a huge grin on his face. "Its me baby"

God can do big things in two years. My journey now is for the heart of Will. So much of him is still a mystery. Don't get me wrong he is very much a normal 3 year old boy in most ways. He is bright, energetic, mischievous, so funny, emotional and has the greatest smile but,winning his heart will be a process. Winning anyone's heart is a process. I am reminded over and over my need for God to teach me what love it. I need his wisdom to know what is going on in Will's mind. I see everyday the little scars of his past and how they are interwoven into who Will is. Christ is the master of winning hearts. He pursues and courts us. He doesn't grow tired or become dissuaded. He is creative and patient and relentless, yet he NEVER tries to break our will. I need the master of love to teach me so many things about loving my son.

2010-02-22T20:12:00.000-08:00

My Haiti:

I wrote this a week or so ago...

Today marks the first of 3 days of mourning, prayer and fasting in Haiti. I talked to mom today and she said things were very quiet. The people are remembering what the last month has been for them. They are remembering the ones they lost and a city that is gone. On La Gonave people have gathered in the town square for a service.

Tonight at dinner it was just Bri and Will and I so I put my laptop on the table and pulled up news web-sites to show Will videos of his people praying and singing. As we watched he said "Port-au-Prince" and I said "yes that's Port-au-Prince." We kept watching together and he kept his eyes glued to the images and sounds that I imagine seemed so familiar. He then said "my Haiti" I said yes that is that your Haiti.

This is his Haiti mourning and praying in crumbled cathedrals. This is his Haiti and his village gathered in the town square. They are together..a community, a village a city. They, as 2 Corinthians says, "are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;"

This is his Haiti that will build and heal, but never be the same. We watched images of Haitians building with logs and their bare hands. He isn't there but its still his Haiti. Moise is Moses in French. I can't help remember that Moses was raised by a different family, a different people but God was going to use him as his servant to bring hope to his people. Only God knows what his plan for Will is but I want Willenson to know it will always be his Haiti.

2010-01-28T18:32:00.000-08:00

At this very moment Wilkenson is asleep just down the hall. In the room next to his his sister Sabrina is asleep. There were so many times I honestly questioned if this day would ever arrive and it has. He is home!!! We arrived home with Will on Tuesday morning about 4 a.m. I look forward to writing the details of his trip to America and our trip to pick him up...insanity and amazing, but for now I'll make it short. I am a little tired :)

Having my mom here has been amazing! She knows me almost better than anyone and is amazing with children. Did I mention she is the only person who can actually have a conversation with Will. My friend Carmen asked if every Haitian orphan was coming home with a grandma who spoke Creole? We are so fortunate!

Will is ALL boy. Sabrina is all girl. I love catching moments when they are laughing together.

Tonight we stopped over to Eric and Nicole's house (our amazing neighbors) Will saw tools and went to work. He racked leaves, and dug out a flower bed. It was amazing. I have never seen a little kid work like that.

Our community has been incredible. We haven't cooked a meal yet. People have brought clothes and toys and sent lots of love our way. We are so blessed.

One of the most amazing things about this has been seeing Justin and Will together. Last night I was standing outside talking on the phone and I looked into the kitchen and saw Bri and Will riding on Justin's back. Incredible! I am married to a phenomenal dad.

This journey continues, we still have paperwork and phone call, but he is here.

God worked so many miracles to bring Will hom. I am humbled. My faith truly is a mustard seed, but God's grace is huge.

2010-01-23T11:42:00.001-08:00

Hello friends,

My mom just called from Haiti and asked us to pray. She talked to our lawyer and he told her that she needed to go to the Embassy and talk to someone one about case. She and a friend are on their way to the embassy right now.

Beth

please pray!

2010-01-22T10:25:00.001-08:00

Just got an email from Kim (our awesome lady helping us) saying she thinks the document I got her looks great. She sent it on to the government office and now we wait and pray.

We get asked a lot what the timeline is but I have NO clue. Wish I did but it's in Gods hands.

I am learning to trust. Below is an update Matthew Tegen Posted. If this family can trust I need to pull it together.

http://gpcaribeatlantic.com/

2010-01-21T21:30:00.000-08:00

Haven't been getting a lot of sleep this week, but I am running on adrenalin and it is so worth it.

Today was crazy I feel like every day moves so fast. I'll give you the run down in bullets because I am sleepy

*faxed paperwork to friend going to Haiti last night

*Stopped by Justin's school to get paper work. He works with amazing people who have been so supportive and who have gotten us in touch with all the right people.

*Talked to Gresham Barretts chief of staff and he said they would do everything they could to help us bring our son home

*Rushed copies of paperwork to Grhesham Barretts Anderson office before a 3 p.m. conference call

*Found out we may be bumped up to the category of people who are being considered first to get children!!!!

* Talked to a lady at Jim DeMints office

* Got a call from a man at Lyndsay Graham's office

*Found out our lawyer is alive, his house is ok and his family is ok!!!!!

*Found out I need to send an email detailing every piece of paperwork we have and also any paperwork that is proof of our trips to Haiti. So glad I kept it all!!!!!

*Gods grace is amazing.

*We have amazing friends and family who have been SO supportive.

WOW!

2010-01-19T19:37:00.000-08:00

This morning i spoke with a wonderful man at our church who is retired from politics and he confirmed, as did a connection my brother-in-law had that Gresham Barrett's office was who I needed to contact. The man from our church gave me a contact name which eventually led me to a wonderful women who spent the day helping me. She immediately took my information and kept asking questions. What ever the outcome it was great to have someone listen.

I have sent our case to the emails the government is asking families to. We are stuck in the "other" category of the press releases they are putting out, which means we need help to get a visa for Will.

I spoke to mom on the phone tonight for the first time since the earthquake. Will was riding on Matthew yelling "go horse go horse". The tricky part is that yet again Will had wet his pants.
Matthew was then to drink and eat off the ground (not for real:) What a loved kid Will is :)

The picture above is of the orphanage director holding Will. She had been told her oldest daughter who lives in the capital was alive, but now the story may not be true. Tonight I am praying her daughter is safe.

I am really worried about the children at Will's orphanage. They are sleeping outside again because the director is afraid to go back inside. There are some cracks in the walls but people have said its safe. The radio personalities are telling people not to go back into buildings, so people aren't. The Island is seeing 500-1,000 new people a day arrive at their docks. I wish I could get all the kids who are legally free here to the U.S.

We are praying we can bring Will home soon!!!

God is a God who gives us strength, but he also gives us rest and peace.

2010-01-18T15:55:00.000-08:00

posting again and making up for lost time.

I am amazed at the picture at the top of this page. It's from February 2007 and Will was one. By august 2007 he was completely emaciated from being sick. He wouldn't eat at the table, he rarely laughed.

Now he is healthy, wild and doing so well. How God has healed his body and heart.

2010-01-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Last night was a late one. Finally in bed at 3a.m. emailing back and forth with a friend also adopting from Haiti. This will be there second little girl from Haiti and she knows far more than I do. She has been such an amazing help.

Every email makes me feel more and more like I am trying swim upstream. I in one moment am ready to charge the White House and demand my child's visa be given to me immediately and all Haitian orphans be given homes. Then in the next moment I a feel like its hopeless.

Last night was the toughest night since we began this journey for will. We got to skype with my family last night which was awesome. Will was crazy, happy, laughing jumping. At one point dad looked at him and said "did you wet your pants?" He kept dancing and laughing and said "yes". Apparently three year old boys don't care if they wet their pants

I'll save you the details of the night that followed but we will just say it was one of the darkest places I have been to. So much hope, fear, love all mixed into a few days. I have never wrestled with this level of Trust. Justin was such an encouragement as he processes his own emotions.

I finally feel asleep with whispering...

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I am still following all the roads that open to us. There seem to be so many obstacles.

What I know and may not always feel is that my God is in control.

2010-01-16T21:05:00.000-08:00

Today I called my two state representatives to see what they could do to help us get Will and other children in S.C. who are being adopted home to their families.

They were both very willing to help and told me I needed to talk to Linsey Graham. One representative gave me a name to ask for when I called the office, the other told me if I couldn't get anyone to call him back.

Government offices are closed Monday, but Tuesday I will talk to someone!

I also have some great friends in P.A. who have some amazing plans in the works. We have to get these kids home.

We want to bring Will home!

2010-01-15T21:21:00.001-08:00

Many people are beginning to ask what the events of the last week mean for families adopting children from Haiti and I wish I knew the answer. The past week has been deeply sad. I hurt for the people of Haiti and the suffering, loss, grief and tragedy they face. I hurt for my friends and family who are living through it and for whom the loss is so real. And I hurt.

I honestly don't know what this means for the adoption or even for Will, but my mom reminded me today that God made him and has a plan for his life. I say these words with a lump in my throat. I believe them with all my heart, but it is all just as frightening to me.

I am reminded of part of our sermon from last week. How we trust God to spin the universe and we trust him with the politics of the globe, but it is so difficult to trust him with the details of our lives and I find this to be true. the beauty is that I have no choice. The truth is I never really did. I never was in control, but its all too obvious now.

So here is to being out of control and God in control. To him getting to glory because he is God. He is in and around and through our hurts and suffering. He is in grief and under rubble and he lived without a home. He is a God who knew what it was to cry. He holds our little Moise and his future in his hands because he is his father.

2010-01-15T21:07:00.000-08:00

I have missed you blog.

I am back and again I must apologize that my blog is my therapy journal. I feel the need to add a few very important moments that have passed without me writing.

1. Thanksgiving day mom called and we all got to talk to Will. He told us all he loved us. He told BWEE he loved her. It was adorable.

2. Last week Bri and Will met for the first time via the miracle of SKYPE. It was the first time my family had enough bandwidth for me to skype with them.

It was amazing to see his cute little face! He has been fascinated with Bri for a while and he loved seeing her. He told me he wanted to come sleep at my house. I told him he would and he said "tomorrow?" I said it would be too sad for him to leave Nanna and Papa right now. (all of this via mom's translation) I asked him why he loves Diego so much...like 3 year olds do he surprised me by saying "Why do you like Diego so much?" I was left to ponder this and realized that the truth is I know very little about Diego, but with the little knowledge I do have I said "Because....he goes on fun adventures" This was a suitable answer.

3. Justin and I received a grant from Carolin's Promise
http://www.carolinespromise4u.org/ It was an amazing blessing!!! We had begun to wonder what God was going to do in the next six months.

4. Tuesday night Justin, Bri and I skyped with my family. Via skype we read Silly Goose to Will and Bri. Will sang us I will make you fishers of men. As soon as he saw Justin on camera he say "Ello Daddi" . When we were saying good bye he looked at Bri and said Good bye Breezy, good bye Sabrina. Cutest thing I have ever heard!

5. We reached our over a year mark and had to do a D.S.S. paperwork update. We are now waiting to hear if we have to update for our Dossier too.

mommy

2009-09-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

I realized tonight that I blog when I am super emotional so I know I must seem a little unstable. Honestly adoption is the one thing that makes me crack. I think I am pretty tough but this is something that just make my heart melt and tonight I really cracked.

I have been getting reports that Will has had a hard summer. He has lost weight and isn't eating. My parents got back to Haiti last week after 10 weeks of being away and I've been so anxious to have some connection with Will. Tonight I got an email from my mom and these were the first two paragraph.

Wil spent the day w/ us. He played this afternoon w/ Aunt Tricia & then later w/ me. He spent time putting the wooden shapes into the proper puzzle spots, singing while he did it. He took a bath & explained that the little spigot was for his bath and the big (high) spigot was for Brooke’s bath. He ate meat twice at Aunt Tricia’s & peanut butter sandwich & mac n cheese at our house. He rode around on the 4 wheeler w/ Aunt Tricia & Brooke drove him up to the orphanage. I told him tomorrow was Wednesday, then Thursday & I would be back to get him on Friday. He seemed o.k. w/ that. Needless to say he wasn’t lethargic today, still very thin but happy. His new clothes that I thought would be too small aren’t at all, in fact the shorts almost fall off him.

Today I was meeting w/ Mme Soliette while holding Wil and talking orphanage business. This is the story she told…One day this summer she heard Mois “joure-ing (yelling at) Nadelta. Mme. S….”Why are you joure-ing Nadelta, she is your Maren (godmother), when you were a baby and nearly died she took care of all of your needs. Moise said, No she isn’t my maren. Then Mme S. said who am I, he responded, you are my Mamm-m (which is a general term for any woman close to you). Mme S. said, Aren’t I your Mommy…he said NO. She said, “Who is your Mommy” He said “Elizabeth, Blan-an” or White Elizabeth. She said that he hasn’t budged, if one of the kids ask who his Mommy is, he always says Elizabeth Blan-an!

I hadn't even finished reading this and I was crying. Not like a tear or two but sobbing. Here is a little three year old boy and he is holding on to hope, a hope without question, that I am his mommy, just like I am holding on to hope he is mine. I thought he would have forgotten or that maybe I was a fuzzy memory. Honestly I wish he would have forgotten. It's easier to think that his life can go on without disruption from me. But, at three, he knows he has a white mommy and he knows my name.

So I am sitting on the couch, laptop on my lap, Sabrina (my 18 month old daughter) beside me staring at me. I can tell she is a little freaked out so I try to smile and tell her I am fine. Kids know when people are sobbing they are not fine. She climbed down off the couch...went to the kitchen.. got a dish towel and brought it back...climbed back on the couch and tried to wipe off my face. It was really cute. I think she will a calm one when other people freak out :)

I am so happy he is doing better and I hope he can put on some weight again. Two people have asked me lately if maybe adopting him isn't what we are supposed to do. I had that moment with God this summer and said Let me know if this isn't what you want. It would break my heart, but I know you have a plan for his life and if it isn't here let me know. I have felt this reassurance that it is. Tonight was one of those defining moments for me.

well here is one more super emotional post for the blog world. enjoy my friends I hope it makes you feel stable :)

Happy Birthday

2009-08-13T17:59:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow Moise/Will will be three years old. I can't believe it. He was 18 months old when i first met him. Our little girl is the exact age that he was which blows my mind. I don't know what they do for birthdays at the orphanage. there are 55 children now, which would be a lot to remember. my aunt and uncle are going to have a party for him next week when my aunt get's back to Haiti. my parents will be back to Haiti on the 10th of September which means his gifts from Justin and i will be a little late. i have been without a real update all summer because my parents are in the states. i can't wait to hear how he is doing!

It's a little emotional thinking about missing his birthday, but the process is moving closer every day. I got my blood tests done today and we are having our home study update in the next few weeks. One step at a time.

Redemption

2009-06-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

I think my own story of redemption is so familiar it's not as amazing to me as it should be. But when I look at the lives of my children I can't help but be amazed, because it's all of our stories. Two little lives that God led on a path that is redemption. For our little girl it was out of a bad situation into a home where she is treasured by so many people and for Will it was to an orphanage where he found food, shelter and love and someday a home where he will be loved and treasured. Before these children could talk or do great things to earn love they were loved and they were worth rescuing. It our story. A God of watches our lives who loves us before we could ever try to earn it. A God who rescues us. When I like into those beautiful eyes I know that the same God who rescued them rescued me. Isn't that what it's about, rescued people reminding each other that we all need rescued and that there is an amazing God who is so in love with all his children that he is constantly reaching, chasing, trying to rescue his children. Yes there is pain and sin and darkness. None of us need to be reminded it's there, but what we do need to be reminded of is that darkness will not win, sin will be defeated and while things seem hopeless at times God is in the business of rescueing.

A Baby Gap Breakdown

2009-06-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

I had a moment of weakness this week. I entered Baby Gap. It was a big mistake because the cuteness sucks you in. I only shop sale racks, but sale racks in Baby Gap are like real prices in other stores. I am for the most part a very self controlled shopper but something came over me and I was flying through sale racks picking adorable little clothes and then not putting them back, but holding on to them. I made my way out of the little girl section and was now continuing my out of control rampage in the little boy section. I found this adorable pair of little navy shorts for 6 dollars...joy filled my heart. Right next to the shorts was a little navy pull over. I thought I could get this for Will for winter...then I stopped...Winter? Which winter? I have no idea what size for what winter....then a feeling of hopelessness....It's never going to happen....then tears....the kind you can't stop. The cheesy music was not helping at all. I'm standing in the back corner of baby gap trying to get a grip. I imagine having to explain why I am crying when a nice associate asks if I'm looking for anything in particular. I did finally regain my composer and was able to check out without frightening any baby gap employees. I think I am going to be ok...sometimes it's just hard

2009-05-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

someone had to put on their own sunscreen

Seeing Moise

2009-05-31T19:56:00.001-07:00

Last week was just amazing. Our church missions trip to the orphanage was more than I could have dreamed of! For me on a personal level spending time with Will/Moise was amazing. He called me mommy the first day I was with him. Mom said they had looked at the picture of Justin and Bri and I and she had pointed out mommy and daddy and from that I was mommy. It caught me a little off guard, but it was such a special feeling to be his mommy. He is everything he was not that last time I saw him. He is chubby and full of life. He is talking so much...most of the time I had to ask what he was saying. I learned just enough creole so that we could cover the basics and he learns English words so quickly. One night I came into the house and mom had just given him a bath and I heard him yell "mommy I clean" it was so cute. He is convinced my parents dog is going to eat him, but if he has extra food he wants to give it to the dog. He was very bad in church, but told mom after service he was very good :) Taking him back to the orphanage was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I carried him up the road sound asleep and handed him to the orphanage director. I really wanted to hold it together because there were people everywhere, but I couldn't. There is this pain of not knowing, yet I am so incredibly thankful for the time I had with him. He is beautiful and I can not wait to bring him home!

finally a new post

2009-05-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am admittedly an avoider. I avoid when I don't want to face a reality. This blog represents reality. Reality that this adoption is a slow, in it for the long haul, sometimes disappointing, sometimes frustrating, sometimes sad, but always worth it process. Having our whole translation process fall through was very discouraging, but God opened the door for us to find another person willing to translate the paperwork. I just received an email today saying the documents are finished and his fee is far less than it could have been,which is a huge blessing!

I leave Tuesday for Haiti. I am leading a missions trip from our church and am so excited. I have had this nagging feeling I'm trying to put off and that is that part of this missions trip is that I get to see Will and while I'm happy I'm also dreading it. I know that sounds awful, but honestly I keep this piece of my heart just a little walled off because the process just frankly hurts sometimes. Seeing Will and holding him and seeing his little eyes and hearing his voice....it is going to be very hard to say good bye. I know so many adoptive parents would love the chance to see and hold the child they fight for everyday and I am so grateful for the moments I will get with him and I am also aware that it is going to be a very sad good bye.

When mom comes to pick us up in the capital she is bringing Will so that he can have his psychiatric evaluation done for the adoption. This means his first plane ride. I wish I could be there to see his little face :) It also means he will be there when I step out of the airport and I can't wait to see him.

Justin and I look forward to the day that we bring him home and that he get's to meet his little sister.
Justin and I wait patiently for the day we bring him home!

mommy I'm talking to you

2009-02-27T20:19:00.000-08:00

I called mom on Thursday and I could hear will yelling in the background. Mom said he was waking up Becca. Poor Becca. While we talked mom was doing laundry and she said that Will sat and lined up all the clothes pins. Mom said he is very O.C.D sometimes. Mom put in on the phone and I heard her say it's your mommy. In creole he said Mommy I'm talking to you, Mommy I'm talking to you. Talk about making me melt.

3 in 1

2009-02-23T19:31:00.000-08:00

I have lots to catch up on so we will call this three posts in one.

1. Last Thursday I made an hour and fifteen minute drive to deliver our packet of papers to be translated. It was like a giant check mark on my to do list. It felt great to be one step closer.

2. Will has been really sick off and on. The latest is that he is staying with my mom and the girls this week and tonight was eating some bread and peanutbutter. My mom asked him if he was going to share with George (his curious george doll) and he pointed to the kitchen and said he can get his own.

Recently one of the new kids at the orphanage took Will's food. Will ran to Mme S and told her what had happened. The other little boy quickly hid the food under the table but Will knew exactly where to take her and showed her the hidden food. Mme S gave the food back to will then told the little boy that if he was hungry he should ask for more food and they would get him more food.

In addition to being sick with a respitory bug Will had a fungus on his head that they are treating. It's all a part of living with over 40 other kids in a third world country.

3. A crazy lady came into our house last night. I know a sentence like that needs a lot more explaination, but it's a long story. Here is the condensed version. We left the door unlocked, she came in, she went through the house, justin heard something and yelled she ran out, the police came. The thing that scared me (aside from someone being in our home with our sweet baby, was that she was going through papers in the guest room. I went and looked at all my adoption paperwork to make sure it was all still there. I don't think anything is missing, but I realized how that one drawer has become so valuable to me. The ammount of work and time invested is huge. That drawer has the paperwork for so much of our lives and is our gatway to having Will be a part of our life forever.

We are grateful to be safe and that our house is safe. We also plan to lock our doors.

translation

2009-01-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

Justin and I had a lead on a person who could possible translate the documents we need translated into French, but I was unsure about it. I have heard conflicting reports as to how picky the government is about the qualifications of the person who translates the documents. I was worried that the man we had in mind might now fit qualifications the Haitian government might have. Two days ago I started looking at the faculty lists of area universities looking for someone who might be qualified to translate our documents. I found a professor at an area college and email them just a simple email saying what I was looking for and what their fee would be. I recieved an email back saying they would be willing to translate the documents for us. I emailed again thanking them and asking again about their fee. Today I received an email saying that they would not need any money and would be honored to help us. I couldn't believe it!

I've been praying that God would bring the right person into our lives and he has. I wrote them back today saying that I couldn't allow them to translate the papers for no compensation. The packed is...well...it's a packed. It's very long and I'm sure will take hours to translate. The fact they were willing to charge nothing is amazing to me.

Today I had the opportunity to talk to a lady who has an adopted daughter from China and they are adopting now from Ethiopia. It was wonderful to talk to someone has has experienced the paperwork and survived.

God is so good!

Home Study

2009-01-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

It is officially in our hands. Yesterday when I came into the office there was a package with my name on it. It was the copies of our notarized home study. I'm so excited!! There is so much we can do now!

I got to spend time with my family over Christmas and so had the chance to discuss the adoption. When they go back to Haiti and the father signs the paper Will will move in with them. The plan had been that Becca would finish two of her classes before Christmas and so would have extra time to keep Will during the morning while mom and dad work and Brooke does school. Unfortunately the Internet went down during the storms in Haiti and the girls are behind in school. Mom said the best thing to do would be to hire someone to come to the house 4 mornings a week from 9-12 He should nap in the afternoon so the girls can do school.

Mom said when she went to say good bye she said it was really tough and so she asked Mme S if she could take him to the bank with her. He was good for a while then decided he wanted to take his clothes off. When mom said no he kicked his shoes off crossed his arms and started to throw a fit. Mom took him outside and after they came back in he feel asleep.

She said when she went up to the orphanage that day only the preschoolers were at home because the older kids weren't out of school yet. She said the children were gathered in a circle dancing and it was Wills turn to dance in the middle. I would have loved to see that. A preschool dance circle. I'm hoping he can add a little rhythm to our life.

Finding Will

2008-12-07T21:02:00.001-08:00

I was just getting ready to log off and my caught the title of my blog "Finding Will" We found him, but I want to know him. I have no doubt that I love him. I imagine the day that he is legally ours and that we are really his parents. We found him, but now I am ready to bring him home. I can't wait to bring him home!

2008-12-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

This is part of an email I got from mom today. It's so great to get updates!!!

We had Will yesterday; I was AMAZED at how much he has grown in the 10 days
we were away. He's so much fun. He now refuses to wear his own hat &
insists on Dad's. He even kissed Daddy goodbye yesterday. Becca left him
playing in the living room & went off to pack. In less than a minute he was
yelling "Cecca, Cecca" in a very demanding voice!

Another reason I love Judain.The attorney forgot to write the letter when we
were in PAP before going to Guyana; when we returned, I tried to call him
several times & couldn't get through. I mentioned to Judain that I really
wanted the letter before leaving for the U.S. This morning he told me that
he had gone to Mt. Alex's home to ask for the letter & is to pick it up
tomorrow. I gave Judain $200 to give to him. SO I will be able to take it
to the island & Magistrar Daham already promised to take the father to the
Judge for official signatures.

I'm back

2008-11-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

So it's been a while since I 've posted. I think I've just been a little discouraged. I've been told the adoption process is a turn of ups and downs. The waiting and inability to move forward I think really got to me, but I'm back! We are finishing the edits of our rough draft and will send it back for completion. The following is an update on Will in Haiti. This email was so amazing for me to read.

Hi All,

Speaking of Wil, we just had him for a few days before we left the island.what fun.
He loves his hat Beth & Justin bought for his b-day, but this time he adopted Dan's
hat & would hardly take it off. Another missionary family gave us a toy lawnmower
that sings & makes dreadful noises, he loves dancing to the singing part (he has
that natural rhythm!)

The sobering thing about his time w/ us was when I said to him "listen to the baby
crying (our neighbor's baby cries most of the time, not sure why). Wil immediately
gave Becca one of his cookies and said, "Ba-li" which means "give it to her". To
make him happy, Becca had to take the cookie & leave the room. What 2 year old in
the states thinks HUNGER when a baby cries.

Anyway, he's just the smartest kid out there (sorry Lin, I know you thing Zach is
but you just haven't met Wil yet J )

He hates to sleep at our house because he sleeps in a tiny single bed w/ at least
one other person, but one night he actually slept from 10-6. Most night we're doing
good if we can get him to sleep 5 hours.

We've made progress on paperwork here, we have the mother's death certificate and
the attorney is drafting a letter for the father to sign; we also have his o.k. to
get it signed & sealed at the judge d' pe's office. The Dr. at our hospital will
complete the medial form & that leaves just 2 blood tests that we aren't equipped to
do on the island. It will mean taking him into PAP, but once all of that is
finished we will bring him permanently to our house. The orphanage director is a
great lady but w/ 31 kids it's a big job. They also pass every germ around & there
are always a few kids sick w/ something.

It breaks my heart to hear how will understands hunger. His reality is so different from ours. Our sweet little girl is almost 9 months and weighs about 20 pounds and I think Will is just over 20 pounds. His reality is so than ours and I'm so excited he is going to be ours.

a gift

2008-10-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

I just received the most wonderful gift in the mail today. My aunt sent me 2 cd's of pictures of will and 3 short video files. I can not tell you how excited I am. Thanks' aunt trish!!!!

I'm a little tired tonight, I had not idea what a busy day an 8 month old has, so I won't upload all the pictures yet, but I'll give you a preview. These pictures were taken on one of will's weekend stays with my family. His daddy is going to love this picture when he sees it.

counting

2008-10-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

Mom said that over the weekend Will was so much fun. She said he laughed and played and when she counted to 3 he kept counting and went to 6. He is so smart!

life is wild

2008-10-09T17:59:00.001-07:00

I talked to mom today and she said Will got his first visit to the dentist. A dental team is visiting and checked all the kids at the orphanage today. Mom said he did great opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue. Mom said that he is doing so well at letting other people hold him. I talked to my aunt who lives in Haiti and she said she was on her way up to the orphanage to play with the kids. I was listening to last weeks podcast of This American Life and part of it talked about the importance of the early years of a child's development. It's moments like that when I want to take this whole situation back into my hands and demand the process move faster. Then I remember,again, that things work in God's time and I am not and never was in control.

Speaking of God's time Justin and I got a call on Monday asking us if we could take an 8 month old foster baby. Well through a long chain of miraculous events there is a beautiful baby girl sleeping in the next room. Wow, God's plans really are surprising and amazing.

Tonight I'm praying for two little sweet babies that for some reason someone couldn't take care of and I'm thanking God that I get to love them

2008-10-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

I think this is a picture of Will looking into a bottle while getting a bath. Mom said he loves the bath tub. I think it goes without saying that he is the cutest thing ever.

UPDATE:
I talked to Becca and she said that in this picture he is checking to see if there is any water left in the bottle so he can try to pour it on her or anything else she told him not to pour water on :)

It's like I secretly get to drive my sisters crazy with my child. I must say it makes me smile :)

New

2008-09-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

On the right hand column I've added a link to a photo album and also a link to the Orphanage where Will lives.

disciplinary actions

2008-09-25T11:49:00.001-07:00

So how do you set boundaries and discipline a child who lives at an orphanage, spends weekends with his adoptive grandparents and has met his adoptive mother twice and adoptive father once? If your reading this and have an answer please go to your phone now and call me. A good friend gave me a wonderful parenting book and I'm looking for the chapter that covers this :)

Mom said on the phone, and I quote, your son has a temper :) She said he tilts his head to the side and makes this face that let's you know he is not happy. She put him down for a nap and apparently he was mad so he kicked her. She said no and he did it again. Because she has 6 children and is amazing, mom decided to discipline him in a way he would understand. So she told him to get on his knees. He listened and got on the floor on his knees. The she said he folded his arms and gave her a very dirty look.

I have to say I was relieved that it worked. While this is a common form of punishment for Haitian children I'm trying to imagine myself at Wal-Mart lecturing Will about his behavior in public and then telling him to get on his knees.
I think Justin and I are in for a challenge.

laughing and dancing

2008-09-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

Justin and I called mom tonight and got to talk to Will. by talk I mean we heard him say hello hello hello over and over. It was so cute. Mom said last night they were at Aunt Trish and Uncle Butch's house and Will was passing books out to everyone. Tonight we were talking and we could hear Will laughing. Mom said that Brooke was dancing with him and he was laughing. Mom said he is still having trouble sleeping for long periods of time, but is eating really well. He is up to 20 pounds, which is awesome!!

It was so awesome to hear his hello and his laugh!

the dance

2008-09-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

The kids at the orphanage are getting better. One little girl is still in the clinic and they are running tests. I'm so glad the kids are getting better.

Tonight mom told me that M. S told Moise that he should dance so he started dancing and saying over and over " Becca Brooke Becca Brook" For those of you who don't know Becca and Brooke are my two sisters. Over the past few weekend they have obviously made an impact on him :)

Mom said that he has gotten a little spoiled and he wants to be held by her a lot. Mom said he likes sitting and reading his Clifford books and spent some time at Aunt Trish's because she heard him screaming from her house. Apparently he wasn't very happy that mom had work to do and couldn't hold him all day. I think we may have a problem :)

I love thinking about him dancing and singing Becca Brooke Becca Brooke

too much

2008-09-09T20:04:00.001-07:00

It seems like too much. One storm after the other poured onto lives that already struggle to survive. That's what life is like in Haiti right now. In the South the flooding is devastating. There are 2 major bridges out so people walk goods across and hired men transport goods on foot across the broken bridges. Clean drinking water and food are difficult to find in many places. Mom and Dad are doing well and are safe. the boats just started running today and the island is out of rice. Mom told me that the children had already left the mountains to come to the city for school when the storms came. Now many teenagers and children are stranded in the city and the government has decided to close the schools until October. Mom said that they had a teenage boy come to the house looking for food for his 5 brothers and sisters. Their parents can't get out of the mountains to come get them. Mom said that the orphanage has about 2 weeks of food and has paid enough money for all the children to start school. They still don't have enough shoes for the children. World Vision is bringing enough food for 10 children to the orphanage which help a little. The problem is that mom's fund is empty. Right now I'm working on a way to raise money for the kids shoes. I'm really excited about my plan. I'm going to get a bunch of children's shoes from our local thrift store and ask people to collect change in the shoes. I think we can get the money before school starts in October.

It's honestly really hard to know that Will is there and I am here. During the storms I called my parents a lot. I don't know when I've felt so out of control. I never really am but I sure like to think I am. All I can do is pray God keep him safe. I'm so thankful that the children are in a concrete building and live on the second floor. They were safe and haven't had any problem with flooding. To me the second floor of that house is like a refuge safe from the storm. It reminds me of the psalms that David wrote about God keeping him safe. For those children that orphanage is their refuge, their help in time of need and God is their fortress and healer. He is in control of storms and winds and rain and he is in control of the life of a little boy I miss a lot. I'm not and He is.

On a lighter note I would like for those of you who know Justin to reinforce for me that he and his friends may not call Moise "mo" or "big mo" when he finally lives in America. It's an ongoing battle :)

snapping

2008-09-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

I just talked to mom and she was holding Moise. In the middle of our conversation she started laughing because he was trying to snap his fingers at the dog. She said he was copying her. Mom said he slept all night last night and then ate eggs with dad this morning. I talked to him a little on the phone and mom said he just listened and stared at the phone. She said he knows how to brush his teeth but just wants to eat the tooth past. The kids at the orphanage have made it well through the storms. They camp and got some more sheets because the kids were cold at night. Mom said they are so excited about starting school tomorrow.

I'm missing him A LOT!!!!

we continue to chip away at the paper work. We are almost done with our part!!! It's all I can do to not jump a plane and go see him!

birthday party

2008-08-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today and a group of family and friends visited the orphanage. It was the first time mom had seem Moise in over a week. She said Mme S told her that the other kids started yelling that Madam Pastor Daniel (her name in Haiti) was coming. Mme S said when Moise heard them he started toward the stairs, but he isn't allowed to go down the stairs alone. Mme S said that he had to wait in the chair. When mom came upstairs she said he was so excited. He didn't want anyone else to hold him. Mom said that he went back to Mme S and was fine with that but didn't really want anyone else.

Tonight they are having a birthday party for Moise and my Uncle Butch. Mom wrapped the things that people sent. I can't wait to see pictures!!!!

I talked to Anna (my brother Matt's wife) who got to see him today for the first time. It's so cool to know the people I love are getting to see him and hold him.

frustrated

2008-08-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

I am frustrated!

Last week the notary was supposed to come to the island and sign off of some paperwork. He came to the island but left before doing the paperwork for the adoption. The Mayor talked to him and says he will come back.

Right now my parents are still in the capital and there is a tropical storm over Haiti. I'm just worried about the kids my parents won't be back to the island until Monday. I'm trying not to worry.

We had part 2 of our home study this morning and the list of what we need to do just keep growing. I'm getting ready to create a spread sheet to keep things strait. My lists aren't cutting it. It's so hard to remember what documents I need for Immigration, our lawyer or for DSS, or for our home study.

The biggest thing I found out today is that we had a DHS (Department of Homeland Security) (side bar I am so annoyed with all the abbreviations that I have no idea what they mean) At our DHS interview in port-au-prince the father has to be there with us. That's right the American government, to protect us it's people, is requiring us to meet with them in Haiti along with the father of our 2 year old child. A father that by the way will have signed away his rights for the second time. I some how fail to see how that is a matter of national security. This is just going to add a lot of complication to our relationship with his father. On the other hand maybe this is a door God is opening so that somehow He can touch his life.

I'm overwhelmed by the paperwork. This week we got our evaluation done and our letter from our local police department done. That is a praise. Two things out of the way.

deep breath....it's all going to be ok

happy birthday

2008-08-12T21:11:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOISE

2008-08-11T19:55:00.000-07:00

2008-08-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow 8/12/08 Moise turns two years old. I can't tell you how hard it is to not be able to be with him. My family is in the capital so they aren't there with him. He was going to go with them, but the mayor said that the notary was coming to town and so they could get some paperwork done. Since the notary doesn't come often they needed Moise (Will) to stay. This weekend while I was away Justin made a trip to Old Navy and got some really cute clothes. I may have followed up with a shopping trip of my own. I really tried not to go over board. I really tried. It was really hard. I think the point where I crossed the line was with the polo shoes....they were so cute and on sale..it was over the line. It's his birthday. I didn't buy any big toys and my family sent small toys and books. The difference between my parents house and his home are already so different.

Mom said he did ok over the weekend but still just wants to be with her. She said he sat at the table once but other than that wanted to be held. She is still worried that there is something physically wrong that he may still be sick.

Mom said she had made a little table for him one morning with a little chair and the coffee table. She was in the kitchen making breakfast and she heard him laughing. He was alone and was laughing at a picture of Justin and I. Mom said she keeps a picture out and talks about us to him. She went in and pointed at the picture and said Beth to which he said bbbbeeeeeee. than she said Justin to which he said a two syllable word she interpreted as Justin. I must say I got pretty excited. It's the little things.

Today we had the first part of our home study and will have the second on Saturday (I didn't know we needed two parts) so much of this just comes out of no where for me. Our I-600 form is almost ready to be sent in and we have our evaluation in the morning. With all of this almost done I still feel like I'm a million years from finishing the very long to do list.

Tonight I'm wondering what people will do for his birthday tomorrow. Will they sing? I don't even know if they really celebrate birthdays all that much. Even if no one sings or tells him happy birthday when they wake him up there is a God who knit him together in his mothers womb and who knows it's his birthday. I'm praying God is so close to him tomorrow and what ever is wrong with his little body that God touches him and makes him well.
So I'm a lot sad, but find rest in the beauty of a God who made such a beautiful little boy

Stats

2008-08-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

I found some stats on line today that I thought I would share

Haiti Facts

* 10% of the child population in Haiti will die before the age of 4.

- 1 out of 14 children die before their first birthday

- 1 out of 8 children die before they reach age of 5

* 40% of the children do not get regular vaccinations for childhood diseases

* 42% of children under the age of five face chronic malnutrition

* 7% (300,000) of the children in Haiti are enslaved. They are as young as 3 years old.

* 45% of the Haitian population is illiterate.

* 70% of the population lives below poverty level.

* Only 50% of primary-age children are in primary school

* Less than 2% of children finish secondary school

* Haiti’s people have less access to clean water and sanitation than residents of Ethiopia or Sierra Leone

* Haiti has the third-highest rate of hunger in the world, behind Somalia and Afghanistan

* Haiti’s life expectancy is 49 years, even lower than that of Sudan

Great News

2008-08-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

Moise is 20lbs!!! He has gained 3 lbs since I saw him. Mom told me she is going to have to take him with her to the capital to get his psych evaluation done. I'm not sure if she is taking the boat or the plane but either way I hope he does ok. Justin and I have our evaluations next week.

I got my first baby gift tonight. I was so excited and it was so amazingly thoughtful!
It's strange and a little scary I still have these moments like "wait don't get too excited, what if it doesn't work out" I'm still reminding myself that that isn't in my hands.
It was so awesome to think that he could be wearing those little shirts here in South Carolina!

a little overwhelmed

2008-08-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

I must say I am feeling a little overwhelmed. The paperwork in front of me seems insane. I'm trying to get the needed information from our lawyer for our I-600 form for immigration. We have to do our psychological evaluation this week, our home study next week and find someone to translate some document for us. Today I'm sending our foster care home study to the lady doing our adoption home study. The amazing news is God continues to open doors and send people into our lives who have helped in ways I never dreamed of.
Thanks Michelle and Laura for your encouraging words this week! I truly hope that everything we are doing can someday help other people through the process.

My sister told me she taught Will to put his finger over his lips and say shhhhhh. The weekend with my parents went really well. my mom said by Sunday he was feeling a lot better and eating everything in sight. She said he looked better. When she took him back to the orphanage she said he was happy to see the other kids and one of the men who helps out. She said he did cry when she left. I wonder what it's like for him to be caught in two world. One where he is one of 30 children in a giant family of people who love him. Where he eats mostly the same foods everyday and I don't know how often he eats. In this world his caretakers are mostly little girls who obviously love him and he loves them. He get's so excited when he sees Nadelta the oldest little girl. He calls her nana. When he needs a nap he lays down on the floor falls asleep.
His other world is one where he is the center of attention, eats new foods, plays with toys, sees white people and hears mostly a language that is completely new. He is loved in both world, but to me safer in the second. I still wonder about the things that will be taken away from him when he leaves the first. I don't doubt Justin and I are doing what God has called us to do. I know that in his current physical state one major virus could potentially end his life. Making it to the age of 4 is an accomplishment for Haitian children. All this in mind I still know that we aren't really saving him. We are taking him from so evil place to a better one. Yes he will have so many more opportunities for education, a chance at a healthy life and the list could go on, but we are also taking him away from people he has bonded with. We are taking him out of the culture he was born into. We are taking him away from the sounds and smells that have made up the first two years of his life. He will no doubt at some point in his life struggle with the question of who he is. I want so badly for him to be proud of who he is. He is Haitian. I want him to be able to speak his language and know the history of his island. I want him to love the culture he came from. Ok I know I'm leaping ahead of myself but these are my thoughts for today

phone call

2008-08-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

I just did something that I think will become a new current event in my life. I called mom so that I could check on Wil. Will is spending the weekend with them. She said that they had sang fishers of men while they walked back to their house and now he was sitting on the potty. It's amazing but at almost 2 he is potty trained. In developing countries where diapers aren't available kids are potty trained early. She said that he likes her reading to him and doesn't like the baby vitamins I left for him. She said the problem now is that he doesn't want to go to anyone but her and cries if my sisters take him or she puts him down. I know he is just looking for safe places and she is a safe place. Mom held to phone to his ear so I could say hello and she said he just stared at the phone. I think this would be his first ever phone call. I miss him a lot

Yesterday I talked to a woman who adopted a little girl from Haiti and she is also licensed to conduct home studies. She game me so much wonderful information, but daunting at the same time. I had hoped to finish our paper work in 2 weeks but I don't see how that will be possible. We have to have certain papers sent to Columbia SC then to Chicago then back to us then to port-au-prince. Mom is making progress in Haiti. Will has his Dr's appointment and physiological evaluation next week.

It's going to be a long haul and from what I'm told one with a lot of ups and downs. I'm reading this great book right now called Love in the Driest Season. When I read about what they went through to adopt it amazes and encourages me.

giving up

2008-07-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

I was reminded by someone today that God's plan in my limited human understanding is just that...His plan. I was again comforted in the letting go. I can only do what I can do and follow that path God has called Justin and I on. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Mom and dad kept the baby over the weekend. They said he was fussy and they weren't sure if he wasn't feeling well or if he just isn't used to them. It made me a little sad to hear that. Mom found out the birth certificate we have is official and registered on the governmental list. This is awesome. Another awesome door God opened is that we were going to have to either take the baby to the capital or ship a blood sample to the capital for the Hepatitis B and C test because they can not do the test at the hospital. A traveling team of eye surgeons from Cuba have their medical tents set up on the Wesleyan compound and have their own lab. They can and have agreed to do the test for us. How amazing is that. I feel like over and over God is just opening doors for us to step through. There are still so many uncertainties and I'll admit sometimes I'm so afraid it will just all fall apart, but I do know that I love that little boy more and more everyday and I know God has an amazing plan for his life and I hope Justin and I are part of that plan

2008-07-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

pictures

2008-07-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

WOW

2008-07-23T19:28:00.001-07:00

Justin and I are home and the past few days have been a whirl wind. I have so much to write, but it's late. Here is a quick run down. We got to spend 4 amazing days with Will. He is doing so much better. Still very tiny but getting better. Yesterday we met with our lawyer and we filed papers that we intended to adopt and then filed the papers to give our lawyer the power of attorney to sign papers for us. It's official we have started the process and I am so excited!!! God has opened so many doors and I am just amazed.

swirling thoughts and prayers

2008-07-18T12:59:00.001-07:00

I'm a little unsure of what to write at this very moment. I can tell you I'm a little sad and happy all at once. It's amazing to be in Haiti and Justin and I have gotten the chance to spend two days with Will. I never dreamed we would get to take him. The reason we have been able to spend so much time with him is because he is sick. Yesterday we brought him to mom and dad's for the day so that the head nurse at the hospital could look at him. He has been sick for a few days and was so dehydrated. The Nurse said he has an infection in both ears. When we first got him I gave him a glass of milk which he drank until he projectile vomitted. For the rest of the day you would have to give him the glass then take it away so he could breath. Today he was better as far as taking a drink and stopping on his own. He ate yesterday but almost nothing today. today we took him to the clinic to get some blood work done for the adoptiong papers and also just to find out if there is any other reason he may be sick. Will is so tiny. He is tall and very malnurished. Yesterday when he threw up I gave him a bath and when I saw his naked little body I almost cried. You can see every rib on his tiny frame and I wondered how his little neck was holding up his head up. Because he is so tiny they had a hard finding a vein to take blood. My mom held him and he cried and cried. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. Will loves my mom. He knows her the best and she loves on him so much. When he hears her voice of sees he starts to cry for her. It's so awesome to see him feel so loved. The Dr. is going to do some more tests tomorrow on his kidneys and other internal organs to fine out the cause of some of his symptoms. He has smiled a few times but for the most part he is a sick baby. He is very cuddly and quiet. I thought maybe he was just confused and missed the other children so today we took him home after lunch. When we were leaving he cried when he saw my mom walk away. It breaks my heart to see his little tears and see how tiny his arms and legs are. Mme Soliet is doing the very best she can. The new orphanage is so wonderful and the kids are so much happier. The children are healthy and growing. she has taken in 10 new children who my mom says look so much better than they did but who seems frighteningly tiny to me. I know she is still struggling to keep enought food in the house, but the kids are eating everyday. They are amazing. They sang us this song that they compused for their one year celebration. My mom translated some of the words for me. They sang that in Haiti there are so many hungry children so many children that are suffering. They sang that children are people too they are not dogs they are people so lift them up so lift them up. When they sing the last line they all raise their little arms in the air. This is the point where I try to stay composed so I don't frighten them by breaking down. Then they sang that now they have a family, they have food and their suffering is gone. When you look into 30 little faces and you hear them sing you can't help but see Jesus in their eyes. I can't help but feel his love on each of them and I just want them to know how incredibly loved they are. their smiles and laughter are so amazing.

We meet with our lawyer on Tuesday at 11 a.m. I'm praying for wisdom and for open doors. I know that no matter how much I love him that he has a heavenly father that loves him so much more. Right now my prayer is for Will's health that we can find out what's wrong, that he will start eating and that he will know how loved he is.

how God moves

2008-07-15T09:11:00.001-07:00

So much has happened this week and I can't believe how God works. It seemed like for so many weeks things were moving so slowly and then this week it's been amazing how many things that I never expected to happen have happened. I guess it shines a light on how little faith I often have. So here is the update. We found a lawyer thanks to Magalie Bowyer! The judge in town was just missing the mothers name to complete Will's birth certificate. The judges wife somehow found out Will's mothers name so we have a BIRTH CIRTIFICATE!!!!!

I just got this email from my mom. As a side note my mother does not usually write her emails in all caps she is just really excited

BETHIE I AM SO EXCITED, I JUST TALKED TO THE ATTORNEY BY PHONE. HE SPEAKS
GREAT ENGLISH. HE WASN'T ABLE TO E-MAIL YOU BECAUSE THE ELECTRICITY WAS
TURNED OFF. HE WANTS YOU TO CALL HIM WHEN YOU ARRIVE HERE & HE WILL SET UP
AN APPOINTMENT FOR THE 22ND. HE WAS EXTREMELY NICE. I INTRODUCED MYSELF &
SOMEHOW HE KNEW OUR CONNECTION BECAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY SAID "AW YES,
ELIZABETH PETERSEN". Things like this never happen this quickly in Haiti!

Keep everyone praying.

You can see she returned to normal sized text at the end...she really isn't crazy :)

I see God's hand in all of this and I feel overwhelmed by God's goodness and faithfulness.
Yesterday I was at a district meeting and the speaker was talking about what he would do differently as a parent and he said he would say I love you more often to his children. I had this great realization that I loved Will. It may sound crazy and you may think I'm awful for not already knowing that, but I knew in that moment that I loved him and there was no going back. I think I just haven't wanted to get too excited, too attached, too invested. I knew in that moment it was too late. I want so badly for him to know that many miles away there are two people who love him so much and that those two people want to bring him home and make sure that every day for the rest of his life he knows he is loved and he is wanted.

Justin and I leave tomorrow morning for Haiti. Please pray for us that we would have wisdom and patience. Please pray for the attorney and for all the children in the orphanage.

a cute story and a worry

2008-07-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

Mom sent me a message on Monday and said that she got to hold Will in church on Sunday. While she was holding him he played for a little while then fell asleep. He then peed on her actually he peed on dad too because he would holding his legs :) mom said mme S was mortified and sent one of the older girls to take him home and change his clothes. Mom laughed and told her to not be embarrassed and that it was not the first time a baby had peed on her. I thought it was hilarious.

Mom said the kids are so animated in their new house. Mme has taken in more children because she has more room. There are now 30 children. This is a picture of some of the kids and my sister Brooke

We leave for Haiti a week from Wednesday and I still don't have an appointment with a lawyer. I'm working on getting a phone number for the lawyer our friend recommended. He didn't respond to email so I'm hoping to get a phone number. If all else fails I'll try to find his office and try to get an appointment with him while we are in country. I don't want to waste our time in the capital and have to make the trip again. Right now I'm praying that if it's the right time that I will be able to get a hold of the lawyer and set up an appointment.

more adorable

2008-07-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

some new pictures!!

cross your fingers

2008-06-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

We may have a lawyer. A friend of ours from church recommended a lawyer and she sent him an email and copied it to me asking him to email us back. She said he has done adoptions before and that he is a great lawyer. I'm so excited.

growing and cute!

2008-06-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

I just got some new pictures!!!
These are pictures of Brooke and Will and our family friend Robin holding Will

happy bizaar and at peace

2008-06-23T15:02:00.000-07:00

I just got off the phone with mom and I'm excited and a little nervous too. First the great news. A team from PA is in Haiti and 2 girls on the team have been raising money for the orphanage as their Senior Project. They brought Mme. S about 2,000 dollars. With the money she and the children are moving to a house with a yard. It's a gravel yard, but at least it's a place they can play. They will be renting the upstairs of a home. They will have 6 rooms...with sunny windows, an inside bathroom, and outside latrine and an outside kitchen. I forgot to ask but they may even get running water and electricity which would be awesome. She has paid off the rent at they house they live in now, paid the new rent for a year and finished paying off the rest of the kid's school bills. In December the lower level of the house will be available to rent and she is hoping to raise the money to rent it and take in more children. Mom said she is so excited! One of the girls on the team who is also a close family friend has agreed to take on managing sponsorship for the children. She is going to manage communication with sponsors and kids and keep a blog for the orphanage. She will do an aweome job and I'm so excited that people can connect with the kids.
More great news. Mme. S had 9 of the children, including Will, tested for HIV and they were all negative. HIV/AIDS is a growing problem in Haiti.

Now on the the bizaar part. Mom said the Wills dad came back to La Gonave this week. Mme S knew he had been hanging around and finally got him to talk to her. She talked to him about someone adopting Will and he agreed that it was what he wanted. She said he asked if he would be able to see Will and he asked if she would give him some money. She told him she didn't have any money to give him. She said that she tried to tell him about how Will was doing, but he didn't seem interested. In a totally bazaar string of circumstances she found out that she and Will's dad are from the same village and distantly related. I guess their mothers know one another. Mme. S feeling was that his his interest in Will's future has to do with him being able to get money from Will. Will's dad apparently signed some sort of paper when he left Will so she is going to go to the Mountains and get Will's grandma to sign papers as well. She is going to keep working on paperwork.

This is such a rough thing. I can in no way judge the circumstances as to why Will's dad can't take care of him and I don't know him to say that he truly isn't interested in caring for him. 80% of haitians live on less than 2.00 a day. Buying just food is roughtly 80% of Haitian's income now. I can't judge what decisions you make under those circumstances. I told mom that I trust Mme. S feelings on the situation. I'm not afraid of Will's dad taking him away. If he wants Will that would be wonderful, but if he can't care for him and he wants will to be adopted then Justin and I would love to be his parents. I just want to know for sure that Will's dad truly doesn't want him. I'm just waiting on this one. Waiting to see what God is doing. Right now it's in his hands.

I have a lead on another lawyer and am waiting to hear from them. If this lead pans out it would be the most amazing circumstances ever. If it doesn't work then I'll have mom call the other lawyer again.

I'm learning more eveyday how little I controll the world. This whole situation is such a great reminder to me to be faithful in the day to day. Ultimatly it's all in God's hands. Surprisingly i just feel peace about it all.

Food for the Poor

2008-06-17T20:36:00.001-07:00

I just got an email from mom and she was updating me on things at the orphanage. Mme Soliet has faced some criticism because the children have gotten chicken pox. Some people think she isn't taking care of the children. One of the little boys who sleeps on the floor was bitten by a spider and mom said one side of his face has swelled. Mme Soliett has taken in two boys from the mountains who have never gone to school before. She has also hired another lady to stay with the girls at night so that she can have a break. Mme Soliett is having some stomach problems which mom thinks is related to stress. The children did have enough food while mom and dad were gone thanks to some generous donations.

Mom is hoping that they can refile Mme Soliett's paper work to Food for the Poor. This would allow her to get beds rice and other food.

I can't imagine the pressure that Mme Soliett feels when she looks into all those little eyes. I reminded of her words that it's only because of God. I think she is truly an amazing woman and I admire her courage and faith so much! I'm praying that God give her an extra measure of strength and wisdom and peace. I'm also praying that the paperwork goes through and the children can get the beds and rice!!

chicken pox

2008-06-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

I called mom today and she was at the orphanage holding Will. She said he is just getting over chicken pox but doing well. She said she didn't want to put him down and leave. Brooke flew back to Haiti today she was so excited to see the kids again.

the call that wasn't

2008-06-09T12:07:00.001-07:00

I tried calling the lawyer last week. I got all my paperwork together, hooked up my computer mic and entered the number into my skype account. I took a breath and made the call. It rang and then I heard "hello" I was so excited. "hello" I said my name is Beth Petersen and...then I heard "hello" "hello" It was then that I realized he couldn't hear me. ahhhhhhh!!!!! I kept talking and he kept saying "hello" "hello" and that was the end of the call. I figured out that my computer had not recognized my mic. I hooked it up again and made sure it was working. I called back but no answer. I called again...no answer. I'm guessing he won't answer now when he sees my number. I'm going to try again today. I asked my mom when they get back to Haiti next week to please call him and let him know I will be calling. So that was my call that wasn't. I can honestly say it wasn't discouraging just another step.

wonderful man

2008-05-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

So I found a wonderful man who sent me some super helpful information. Tuesday night I came across a blog that led me to a web-site of a non profit in CO. They have an orphanage and some other things in Haiti. On their website they had contact info for a man who works with their adoptions. I sent him an email just asking if he had any recommendation for lawyers. He sent me back contact information for the lawyer they use as well as government forms and a list of steps I need to take. It was the most concrete information I have received and so helpful. The list of things that Will needs mom said she can take care of. We have to get the papers signed by the grandma, a physical for him, blood work and a few other things. On my end the task is ginormous, but not impossible. Lot's of paperwork. Justin and I had a home study done a few months ago for our foster care process and I'm hoping that will count for what we need for our paper work. It's exciting to have some real information. There was a ball park cost in the paper too and it was really encouraging. I'm so thankful that God led me to someone who had some answers I need. Again, this all is only going to happy because God opens the doors.

moise

2008-05-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

So I found out tonight that Wilkenson actually get's called Moise which is his last names. It's said like Moees. I guess it's cultural to be called by your last name. The girls said he doesn't answer to Willkenson. This put's a kink in my plan. You can't call a child a name they have never answered to even if it is their first name. I think Moise is cute so Moise it is for now.

new week

2008-05-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

I'm so pumped I have new pictures. The family is all at my house right now and the girls had some pictures of Will I have never seen. I didn't get a chance to call the lawyer this week due to skype stuff, but I'll work on it this week. So here are the new pictures. They were all taken at the orphanage on Mom, Becca and Brooke's visits.

Am I crazy?

2008-05-19T20:33:00.000-07:00

I had the wonderful privilege of seeing my extended family at my brothers wedding this weekend and it was so encouraging to hear the love and support. Thanks everyone for reminding me Justin and I aren't alone in all of this.

So this is the week. I'm calling the lawyer this week. To be honest it's a shot in the dark. I've looked over the list of lawyers on the government web-site and one name has appeared on a few different web-sites. My mom ran into a lady in port-au-prince who said she had used this lawyer and she was wonderful. That's it...that's all I have to go on. Another man I've been emailing told me he had chosen not to hire her, but wouldn't really elaborate on why. So it really is a shot in the dark. My plan is to call her and just find out if she has references, what is the process, what should we be doing and if she will meet with us in July. I feel a little crazy right now. As I'm writing down my very elaborate plan I'm suddenly realizing it doesn't sounds so amazing. So here is my prayer. My prayer is that God would lead us to the lawyer he has for us. I'm praying that if this lawyer is not the one that we would know and that in his time he would lead us to the right one. I worry what if she isn't honest? What if she takes advantage of us? I'm reminding myself once again to take this entire thing and let go. None of this belongs to me, It's all his...Will, the dream, the children...they all belong to him. It's all his and never has been mine. So there it is... now that you know my amazing, elaborate and genius... plan call me if you think I'm insane.

wondering

2008-05-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

I just got home from a wonderful cookout with such sweet friends. They make our lives so rich and they provide this amazing community I am blessed with. I wish that Will could feel this love. I feel so sad about the time we are missing with him. I think of everything I learned in school about developmental stages and I wonder is he getting the nutrition and stimulation he needs? I want him to have the organic baby food and a safe car seat and crib. I would throw away all toys made in China and I would read that bulletin board in Wal-Mart that shows you the 200 high-chairs that have been recalled and I would only give him baby Einstein toys and dvd's.

I get all panicked worried... I know that Mme Sollet is an amazing Christian woman who loves and cares for those children, but I know how they struggle to have enough to eat and how many of the children sleep on the floor and how they have to haul all their water. Will had malaria last month because the orphanage doesn't have screens to keep out the mosquitoes. (Aunt Debs Church in FL is building them screens)
I want him to be here tonight and I want to read him a story and lay him in his bed and for a little while just watch him sleep. Despite all that I can't help but think that God is doing something in his little heart and something in our hearts that is growing us to be more like Him. I realize that God is bigger than my organic baby food. I keep reminding myself that these are not going to be wasted years. I do think it could take years.

What I'm doing here is telling myself all the things I know, but am having a tough time feeling.

At random times during the day I find myself wondering what he is doing right now? Is he sleeping, playing...is he hungry...who picks him up when he falls. When I look back at my pictures from our trip I can't help seeing all the other beautiful faces. If God opens the doors and Will is someday ours what about those other little faces. Do they have enough to eat? Are they safe? My life is refocused when I remember their beautiful brown eyes. Suddenly my days matter. Our lives count. They count in the way we love the helpless... in the way we are His hands and His feet. There are already so many people who have loved those children by giving money to provide for their needs, 2 teams had min-bible schools with them, my parents and sisters took them to the beach to play, Mme Solet has sacrificed so much to provide a home and food and education, the growing place and SWU collected tons of supplies that we took to the kids. All this to say I am not alone in loving them. I have no illusions of being selfless or having an edge on giving. I only know that God placed something in my heart that won't let go. My life counts if Jesus can love those little lives through my weak and human life.
So tonight I'm wondering and praying for Will. I'm praying that Mme Sollet is renewed in her spirit and that she knows she isn't alone. I'm praying God increases her faith as he provides for their daily bread. I'm praying the children learn that God does provide for our needs. I'm praying God keeps them safe and that somehow they knows there is a Big God who loves them so much. I'm praying that God makes a way and that someday when Will falls asleep I'll get to lay him in his bed in our house.

the judge

2008-04-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Mom and I were talking yesterday about Will and she said that the judge in town has offered his services for free to work on the paperwork to get the grandmother to sign over her rights. The magistrate in town is also offering his services for free. Mom said that the representative for the president on the island may also be some help. It's awesome how God seems to be putting the right people in the right places. I also have to say that none of it would be possible if it wasn't for mom and dads friendships and the love they have shown the people in their town. Because of what they have helped do for the orphanage people are willing to give back. It's so awesome to see how real community works.

Mommy told me that Mme Solliet (the orphanage director) told her that at night she keeps a bottle of juice by the bed....I think Will sleeps with her....when he is thirsty he gets out of bed, pours himself a glass or juice and goes back to bed. He is only 20 months. It's amazing how independent he is. His life before the orphanage must have been very much fend for yourself. It was amazing when I saw him drinking out of a large metal cup. Brooke said he doesn't like anyone else to feed him and he takes his food to a corner and doesn't want anyone to watch him eat. I wonder what it would be like to have your ideas about food and survival be so primal at such a young age.

This week someone gave mom and dad a thousand dollars for the orphanage. Mom and Dad were so overwhelmed. When they left Haiti the orphanage had enough food for 5 days. $1,000 will pay for a month's expenses. Mom said a few month's ago a bad of rice was $50.00 now its $75.00 food prices keep going up and that means people go hunger...children go hungry. The children in our church have made a goal to raise $1,000 for the orphanage. It's so cool to think about children feeding children. God is so amazing!

I'm so excited about going to Haiti in July!! I can't wait for Justin to see all the children and to see Will

the grandma

2008-04-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight my sister becca told me that they have found Will's grandma in a near by town. They think that if she will sign away her rights to the director it could be good enough to get a birth certificate. They think that Will may have lived with her for a while. I'm praying that she will sign it

smiles

2008-04-23T12:52:00.001-07:00

This is the closest thing to a smile Will gave us while we were there in Feb. My family just flew in from Haiti last night and told me that he is actually laughing and playing. I can't tell you how happy that makes me!!! It's awesome to know that love and attention and food are helping him be a kid.

The Beginning

2008-04-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

This blog is a record of our story to adopt Will. Keep ing a record comes at the suggestion of Mrs. Rampey. I hadn't thought of recording our story, but decided maybe someday it could help someone else who believes adoption is something God is calling them to. I want to start at the beginning because that's where every journey and every story begins. A few months ago a Haitian man brought his one year old son Wilkenson to the orphanage in his town. He told the director his wife had died and he couldn't care for his son alone. The orphanage director told him she was so sorry but she just couldn't take babies. She was already overwhelmed and was struggling to feed the children she had. She gave him some money and turned him away. In the ally outside the gate the man give will to a young girl and asked her to take him back to the orphanage and then he was gone.

My heart has always been open to the idea of adoption. I had left the door open for God to lead Justin. Justin and I began the process of becoming foster parents in November and I assumed that could be the path to adoption. On February 29th God did lead me into one of those crazy everything will be different now moments. I was in Haiti visiting my parents and we headed into town to visit an orphanage I had heard so much about. It was everything you can image. Beautiful little faces. Shy smiles. Little hands reaching to hold yours. All those melt your heart moments. I knew it was going to be an amazing visit, but I didn't know that I was going to fall in love with a little boy sitting in a big chair. He was sick that day and looked so pitiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I have to be honest I was kind of trying not to love him. I kept saying "it's just the emotion of the moment" "It's just because he is a baby" "Give it sometime and these feelings will go away" The next day we went back. We took medicine to the kids who were sick, read story's and played more games. I held little Wilkenson who was still pitiful and I must say a bit grouchy. He fell asleep while I held him and would cry every time I tried to lay him on the bed to sleep. As we were leaving I gave him to the orphanage director he stirred and mumbled something in Creole. The orphanage director smiled and told my mom that he calls the older girls and her mom and that's what he had done. I tried to play it cool, but inside something happened that I haven't gotten over. I really did think that maybe those feelings would go away, but they haven't. There hasn't been a day yet when I don't think about him or wonder what he is doing.

I've started doing research, looking for lawyers, getting Will a birth certificate and have come to the understanding that God is going to have to open some big doors to make this happen. I can't explain the peace God's given me. I know it's going to be a journey not just a short story, but I also know that God has placed in me a passion for a little boy named Willkenson.